Emotions, a force Skype history
by Nivion
Summary: After settling into a new hideout Rey has to face all those feelings which piled up during her forcefull restriction of the force bond. Also Kylo/Ben has to deal with this.


It was amidst the strategy meeting just after they had settled themselves in the small hide out on Lah'Mu that Rey felt it again. She became overwhelmed with loneliness, longing, anger, frustration and disappointment. Like a series of tidal waves it threatened to sweep her away, to totally wash over what was left of her self-control. All kinds of reasoning was invalid. Even if she told herself that she was not alone, that Finn and Poe and BB-8 as well as the General where there for her, Hell - Finn came to rescue her on Starkiller Base, he came back for her! – it was of no use. She then tried to concentrate on happy memories but soon stopped, as she remembered Ben and how her Heart hat fluttered during the moment she touched his hand. It was of no use, she would not be able to endure this any longer. She needed to go, just away from all these people. Somewhere to calm herself. So with an apologetic glance at General Organa and a nearly not noticeable nod from her she snug out.

Lah'Mu is known for it's minerals and soft green patches of moss and grass. The hide out was located between two mountains in a valley which broadened to a massive plain of small and gentle hills to the south. As soon as Rey stepped outside she could hear a small creek flowing in the direction of the nearest mountain. She figured, it would be best to scout the area to get her mind off of things. After she had followed the creek up the mountain she found an entrance to an old mine and went inside. 

For some reason Supreme Leader Ren felt anxious and impatient all of a sudden. He had been angry and frustrated since he got up. Not that he really slept anyway. But this was new, he needed – to do something. Like getting something done. He became unruly, very unbecoming of his position. So he got up from his throne and went to his study. As soon as he opened the door, for a tiny flicker of a moment, he saw himself standing in a great hall which looked like a cathedral carved into a Mountain.

Small windows had been beautifully carved into the higher areas of the hall. Some were still intact, others were now home to moss or plants reaching in. Rey went up to the desk at the end of the hall and discovered some papers and a severely damaged, but still neatly rolled out and fastened scroll containing a map of this mine as well as of the area. She wanted to take it, but felt bad to destroy it's peace. People must have left in a hurry – but this was nearly a decade ago according to the date on the map. Rey scanned the map to find another exit maybe. Instead she saw a room marked with a sign for water as well as air. This was where she was going to next. If People could live here, or if she would find another water supply, that would just be fantastic. On her way out of the hall she suddenly felt a pang of loneliness which grew heavier with each step she took.

After wandering through another corridor she reached a staircase which led deep into the mountain. Bravely she went down some steps and heard it again, the flowing of water. She rushed towards it, glad that excitement took over once more. Finally at her destination, she found a carved stream on the floor which was filled by a spring from the wall to her right. The room was rather small, and hat only two small carvings for windows on her left. She reached her hand out to touch the flowing water from the spring , but at the sight of her own hand, she was back at the hut. Back with Ben, her hope, her feeling of belonging, it all came crashing down. And this Anger, this , this frustration. The desperate feeling of loneliness made it worse. Unable to contain it any longer, she softly went to her knees, cupped her face with her hands and cried. She cried for herself, for all whom they had lost, for Ben, for all the chances she had missed. Now that she took the time to sort her feelings, she recognized, that she felt his pain too. "Ben." She sobbed. "I,..I'm.." she now cried uncontrollably – unable to manage such an amount of emotions.

Tears streamed down the face of supreme Leader Ren. He felt her despair but also the decrease in his own anger. As he turned left, he saw her kneeling on the floor, crying and sobbing openly as she needed her hands on the ground for support. Rey suddenly took a sharp breath. "I will .." she battled for air "not talk to you." Kylo opened his mouth but was interrupted once again. "Please, Ben!" Rey began to sob again. Now sitting on the floor with her back to him, she took a deep breath, threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Her scream resonated with the mountain. It felt as if time stood still to wait for her to calm down. Rey screamed at all of her feelings and at all the feelings she got from Kylo or Ben. She got angry again but felt a warm cozy sense of gratitude glide into her consciousness. She stopped, out of breath and out of voice. "That's not fair." Rey claimed with a crackling voice and fought for air. "To project your feelings onto me since I told you to shut up." She turned her head towards him with a small smile.

There stood Ben. With a tear stricken face and a loving expression on his face he looked more out of place than ever before in this Kylo Ren outfit. As he just stood there and looked down on Rey, with her face all red from crying for his sake as well, he felt nothing but belonging. She was his home.

"Ben, could we" Rey said as she stood up and took a step towards Ben, "I, um .." she clumsily tied to tug some of her fallen strands behind her ear. She looked up at Ben and reached towards him with her hands as his warm expression suddenly hardened "I will find you." Ben barked a little to harsh. He looked to his right and was suddenly gone.

"Well that's a way to say thank you!" thought Rey to herself. Was it a promise or a threat that he was going to find her? She slightly smiled as she washed her face with the water from the spring.

Supreme Leader Ren shook his head. He needed to be stronger than this. He has been called to the bridge, so he needed to hurry and get his straight face in place again.

As Rey strode back to the hide out she slightly smiled. It was a good feeling to have faced those emotions. And at the thought of Ben looking so out of place in his attire she laughed out loud.

At the same time, an observative storm trooper might have had the chance to catch the ghost of a smile on the supreme leaders face as he an Rey thought the same:

"Supreme Leader Ben – sounds kinda fine "


End file.
